| My arrival would be spectacular in an open, white carriage decked with flowers and lace and drawn by six white horses. I had planned it in detail, imagining oil-filled lamps lighting the entrance to the church, shedding their soft, flickering images as DB and I left the sanctuary on dusk : as man and wife.
I was checking the prospects of a trumpet fanfare to precede the ringing of the church bells when DB rudely interrupted. Although my ideas were absolutely splendid, he wasn't going in anything horse drawn, and he hoped I would have a nice life.
I was shocked at his hesitation to embrace my creative plans and so a series of compromises were made.
The carriage and horses went. They were replaced by a friend's white Jaguar car. The lamps could stay, although they oozed oil over the church's manicured lawns, resulting in a ban henceforth. And as for the trumpet fanfare ? . DB just laughed hysterically!
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..We had a lovely wedding, performed by our fathers- both ministers- and after all the excitement, we settled into married life. We purchased a house and began work. We got down to business.
Five years later our first child was born and about the same time we started our own business. DB was fully occupied for long hours with this new venture, while I battled postnatal depression after a difficult birth and chronic lack of sleep. My family support system was scattered all around the globe, so there was no popping over to a relative for a cuppa and a weep. I was disillusioned in my expectations of motherhood. I felt a failure.
Because DB was also taking care of business, the endless interruptions by a demanding, colicky baby were my responsibility. A wave of resentment would sweep over my sleep- deprived body as I struggled out of bed once more in answer to our son's cries. DB snuggled deeper under the doona, making soft snuffling noises.
On one memorable, freezing night, after numerous trips to the nursery to feed-change-burp-cuddle-feed-change our BOJ [Bundle of Joy], I decided that everything that could be done for this child had been done. Therefore, I was entitled to at least three hours of the uninterrupted, blissful, unconsciousness of which DB was partaking so freely.
To ensure the integrity of my plan, I properly shut every door between the nursery and my bedroom [as soundproofing, you understand]. I fell into bed where I submerged myself between the ever-so-warm-and-fluffy covers and drifted off to a faraway land.
Interior doors are of very poor quality these days- don't you think ? Within 45 minutes he was back. I could hear quite clearly the screams of our SC[ Small Child]. But despite burying my head and ignoring the noise, I couldn't stand it. Wearily I flung back the doona.
DB slept peacefully on.
I shoved my feet into my waiting slippers and proceeded to the nursery. There was one problem. I had totally forgotten about the intervening and closed doors en route. One sickening crash followed another as I stumbled and fell through each doorway and finally arrived at the nursery, where I turned on the light.
My feet felt funny. I glanced down and screamed in horror. They were deformed! In my disorientated and tired state, I hadn't realised my slippers were on the wrong feet ! What a relief. There was no-one about to observe my stupidity.
DB slept on, oblivious.
I suppose I wasn't an AJ [Absolute Joy] during this demanding time of our married life, but together we muddled through, one day at a time.
·..Three years on our daughter arrived to complete our family, while the business continued to rapidly expand. My DB was totally immersed, completely preoccupied with his occupation. Having a conversation or completing a sentence with him became an art form. Being somewhat distracted, he might walk away while I was in mid conversation. I found this situation very annoying, especially when I discovered I'd been talking to myself for extended periods.
I had announced triumphantly to DB during our courtship that I planned to have seven children [so they could sing together] . DB turned a whiter shade of pale and had quickly changed the subject, which was just as well, because two LDs [Little Darlings] proved to be ample and all I could cope with. Our lifestyle was frantic.
DB worked long, hard hours. Regular meals were impossible; the telephone rang constantly. He was away from home for extended periods and, at times, I felt like a sole parent. But I admired his enthusiasm and dedication in making a success of the business. My job was to support, nurture and create a haven from the madness.
...·As the children grew and became more independent I began to be more involved in the business, and DB and I worked side by side. Then the recession hit. This brought our endeavours to an abrupt halt and those years of hard work and long hours vapourised.
We were numb with disappointment and despair, and while I shed tears, DB merely looked tired and discouraged. But we had each other and our humour: throughout our married life laughter had always been a vital ingredient.
DB thinks I'm slightly crazy, and laughs at all my jokes, and that is important to me. He loves me.
I make sure his clothes are clean, his meals are hot and the house is tidy. I love him.
He brings me a hot cuppa every morning and makes my lunch if I'm working an early shift. He loves me.
I listen and am interested in his ideas. I love him.
When, recently, I rejoined the work force [away from our business], I was low in self- confidence. He said to me: They're lucky to have you, you know.? He loves me.
...·He recently had surgery and I worried about the outcome; for without him, if that's how it was to be, a part of me would be missing. I love him.
We hold hands; we hug; we are openly affectionate: We love each other. We anticipate each other's needs and, although we don't always agree, we are always there for each other.
We were having a rare, quiet breakfast together quite recently, when DB announced, Honey, do you realise that you have been living with me longer than you lived at home ?
Why, yes, I nodded thoughtfully, taking another bite of my marmalade- covered toast. Does that mean I have Native Title ? DB asked, earnestly.
As long as Ayers Rock glows in the Red Centre, you've got a chance, Dearly Beloved.................. |
